Aeris' Revenge
by Sir Edward
Summary: Aeris and Sephiroth both live.  Aeris wants to tell him that she loves him, but he still hates her.  Will she win him over, or end up killing him?  PARODY.  OOCness galor, meant to be funny.  Sephris.


Aeris' Revenge

Sephiroth smiled as he woke up in the Northern Crater ALIVE!

"_I thought that worthless puppet had killed me... The pain... It burned, and yet I'm alive._" He thought, his luminescent green eyes taking in the dingy interior of the large crater.

He stood up, and looked around for his Masamune, finding it just a few feet away, lying on the ground. He smiled again as he lifted the blade from the ground, and hugged it to his chest.

"My baby!" He whispered at it, sliding it back into its sheath with care.

Then he turned, and gasped, seeing something that he thought didn't exist anymore.

"Aeris...?" He said, looking at the pale flower girl with hatred and confusion.

"Yes... I lived Sephiroth... You missed all my vital organs, only succeeding in causing me a great deal of pain... And then Cloud put me in the Life Stream, an my injuries healed... Now that I've found you, I wish to tell you something." Aeris said, her eyes glinting slightly in the odd glow of the crater.

"Though you tried to kill me, though you caused me much pain when you stabbed me, and I almost died... I... I love you Sephiroth..." She said, walking toward the stunned Ex-general.

"What the hell are you saying woman? I'm your enemy, the one who wants to destroy this pitiful world, and you say you love me? I must have damaged your brain as well. I hate you with my whole soul... We are fundamental opposites, and there for are compelled to hate one another. Get away from me woman!"

"No Sephiroth... Haven't you studied magnets? Opposites attract... I love you!" Aeris cried, throwing her arms around the ex-general.

Sephiroth threw her off, and pulled out his sword.

"How about I finish what I messed up in the first place?" He said, thrusting the sword clean through her body again, and laughing with delight when he saw the utter look of betrayal in her eyes.

"Die wench! DIE!" He said, pulling the blade out of her, and watching her fall to the ground, blood seeping out of a gaping whole in her chest.

"No one escapes Masamune TWICE!" He laughed, jumping into the air, and flying off to go kill Cloud and the rest of his group for the humiliation that they caused him.

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Aeris' soul drifted into the Life Stream, where she met the Old Crone that guards the river of the souls.

"Oh Crone of the River! I have a mission in life, but alas I was killed before I could make him see that I love him... Please let me live." Aeris pleaded with the Old Crone, who smiled.

"Such a young one, not even bred... So pretty and innocent too... Yes my child, go back to your body, I give you this talisman against death, so that you may complete your mission, and tell the man that you love him... There's a good deary." The Old Crone purred, handing Aeris a little key chain that said "Immortality Phob" on it.

Aeris thanked the woman, and slowly rose back to her body.

When her soul refilled her body, the wounds disappeared, and she stood, looking for a way to find Sephiroth, so that she may get him to love her.

All of a sudden, a random gold chocobo popped out of nowhere, and squawked.

"Whookee BOO!" It said, tilting its head towards its back, telling her that she could ride.

She smiled at it and pat it on the head, and it made a little satisfied noise in the back of its throat, and let Aeris climb onto its back.

"Go chocobo! Let's go find that hunk of manliness, and get him to love me!" She cried, pointing off into the sunset.

The golden chocobo gave a joyous "qureee!" And ran off into the sunset.

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Sephiroth mean while was flying over the remains of Midgar.

"Is this all the comet managed to destroy? That worthless hunk of space rock didn't even manage to destroy it entirely!" He spat, looking at the soul remaining remnant of the old floating city; a single tower that stood burnt and slightly bent.

"I will make you pay Strife!" He said smiling, and then blew the tower to pieces, relishing the feeling of being alive and powerful.

"You will pay dearly for what you have done to me, just as that worthless flower girl did."

Just then, he caught the sound of running chocobo feet, and turned to find the flower girl he had just killed AGAIN, riding on the back of a gold chocobo.

"My lovely man! I love you!" She cried, as the chocobo stopped and she got off, running over to him with a grin on her face.

"Gha! I thought I killed you! I stabbed you in the heart! How the hell are you alive?"

"I must be a goddess!" Aeris said with a grin.

"Leave me alone! I'll kill you again!" He said, drawing Masamune out yet again.

"Oh... That can't hurt me!" Aeris said, grabbing him around the middle.

"Stupid bitch! Geroff!" He grunted, shoving her off of him a second time that day, and pulled out a small orb.

"I summon Ifrit!" He shouted, watching as the ground exploded, revealing a strange green horned beast that began breathing fire on Aeris.

"Burn in hell wench!" Sephiroth cried, running away as the girl burned to a crisp.

But oddly enough, when Ifrit finished burning her, she stood there smiling at the creature, completely unharmed.

"Thanks for warming me up Ifrit... I was starting to get a little cold."

Ifrit looked confused, and shook his head, trying to figure out how she managed to live through the hell-fire.

"GRAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" It cried, and disappeared in a burst of flames.

"Goodbye!" She called, and then leaped onto the chocobo, pointing off in the direction that Sephiroth had run.

"Go get that man!" She told it, patting it on its head.

"WHARK!" It cried, and ran off at top speed after the silver haired ex-general.

"WHAAA HOOOO!" Aeris cried with delight.


End file.
